For the first time in ages, everything was supposed to be on hold. My partner and I are spending a few days in Sarafovo, and the sensible plan was to leave my laptop at home and forget about writing until we returned.
I managed half of it. The laptop came with me.
For most of the day, I resisted looking at emails, checking what was happening with the book or thinking about the writing waiting for me. By evening, however, I could no longer stand the tension in my head about what might be going on online behind my back. It sounds ridiculous, but after spending so much time trying to keep everything moving, switching off begins to feel like neglect.
I eventually allowed myself a short window to deal with anything that genuinely needed attention, write this post and then close the laptop again. That, at least, was the agreement.
The holiday itself is going well, although the weather has other ideas. My partner and I settled ourselves on the beach in our swimwear, only for a rain shower to sweep across the area and soak us to the skin. We stayed where we were and gradually dried off during the sporadic sunshine that followed. It was not quite the beach experience we had imagined, but it became amusing once the initial discomfort had passed.
Heavy rain is forecast for tomorrow. Strangely, I felt rather pleased when I saw that. If the weather confines us to the apartment, I will have the perfect excuse to open the laptop and write again without feeling that I should be outside enjoying the beach.
Does that defeat the whole purpose of getting away and having a break? Possibly. Then again, writing is not always the part I need a break from. The emails, figures, promotion and constant feeling that something needs attention are far more tiring. If the rain gives me a few quiet hours to write, I may enjoy them.
The real test will come when the sun returns. Can I close the laptop and leave it closed?
We shall see.
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